I feel like there are two kinds of people in this world.
1.Person A: You’re an avid pyjama fan. You wear them regularly, have a favourite pair at home and have made a few purchases in your time.
2.Person B: You’ve never purchased a pair in your life, you don’t like to sleep hot, old sweatpants or gym shorts are your go-to loungewear.
If you’re Person A reading this, you’ll probably want to find out what the next best comfort purchase should be.
Person B reading this is about to find out what you’ve been missing out on all these years and discover the comfort you never knew you needed.
So first off: What makes the worst Pyjamas?
Now as a male fitness model/youtuber/ online trainer you wouldn’t think my opinion holds any weight whatsoever. BUT In my experience as an avid Pyjama wearing - Person A for 26 years, I have a pretty good idea about what pyjamas are the best and which ones you should avoid.
Let’s dive in to the latter with the 5 Worst types of Pyjamas:
1.The Stiff Cottons ( Straitjackets for the legs)
These are up there with the worst. 100% Made in China. Zero stretch or flexibility paired with a lightweight cotton blend will make these the stiffest, most unforgiving shorts/pants on the market. Any sign of sweat will seep through like you’ve spilled your drink and don’t even think about trying to lift your leg more than 6 inches. I’d like to say that these are cheap but most of the time they are mid ranged price. I literally do not see the need for these.
2. The Unfinished Bottoms
As the name suggests, these are quite simply unfinished garments due to one key missing criteria. Pockets. Why in the 21st century would a pair of bottoms not need pockets? Save 4 cents on an already cheap manufacturing process? Again I’m genuinely bewildered.
3. The ‘Prepubescent Dad’ Range
Potentially the most offensive Pyjamas. These are targeted at the Dads of the world AND their sons. There is no middle ground apparently when adult males are dressed like an eight year old. Some may think it’s cute for an annual Christmas photo but to me it seems like a waste of money and dignity seeing a grown man with Big Bird slapped on his t shirt.
4. The Pink Princess
Granted the majority of the Pyjama market is ruled by women and young girls. But the stereotype of overly fluffy, pink cutesy matching pyjamas makes me a little uneasy. If you like pink then maybe this is your jam, I won’t judge! But from the outset this just seems like a disappointing failure to deliver on customer needs.
5. Plain Jane Serial Killer
If you look up the most expensive pyjamas you will probably see a guy in pure silk that resembles American Psycho’s Patrick Bateman preparing for his evening routine than it does a regular guy after work seeking a comfortable get-up. I honestly don’t know who’s buying these but if you know someone then I’d suggest you keep your distance. Just in case... 🔪.
So now that you are aware of the 5 Pyjama Sins, I’m going to share with you what makes the most comfortable pyjamas. Admittedly I’m biased but hear me out: we created these garments as an answer to the aforementioned evening atrocities. So instead of bias, I like to think of it as having a little more credibility than the next guy.
So THESE are the 5 Pyjama Virtues that we used to make pyjamas so good we had to trademark it as Slouchwear®
1.Ultra Soft Fabrics
As an antidote to the aforementioned straitjacket, we found Lenzing Approved Tencel to be the best bet for bottoms. Ultra soft, Stretchy, Lightweight, Durable, Eco friendly and moisture wicking, this fabric is nothing short of a game changer. It feels like bamboo had a baby with silk whilst cotton had a baby with a cloud and those two babies met and f*!#%^ , giving birth to Tencel.
2. Legitimate Quality
Thriving fast fashion might not last in this day and age with more people valuing quality craftsmanship and materials over cheaply made unethical garbage. Slouch Potato’s garments are all 100% made in Melbourne, Australia and every single design is a brand new, original cut. Not only do we frequently visit the garment makers for business but we enjoy hanging out with the good people there. Our makers have been in the industry for decades and strictly make for high end fashion brands, making Slouchwear arguably undefeated on quality.
3. Realistic Appeal
Pyjamas shouldn’t be an annual cutesy event, they should be the most comfortable attire for the home. So why the f*** would we cover it with Sesame Street and expect grown men to get around it?! We designed our range to be FUN with an element of class. Our motto is to release the inner crazy that everyone has. The Cookie Slouch Pants for example was the perfect way to do this. Fun with a little crazy that young adults everywhere will actually WANT to wear on the daily. (In doing so we may alienate the Patrick Batemans of the world, to which we are legitimately proud).
4. A FINISHED Garment
Deep pockets to ensure your phone can’t slide out paired with super soft tencel ribbed cuffs so the fabric doesn’t gather at the ankles and make you look like a child playing dress ups in his dad’s suit pants. Our Slouchpants were designed to bring you maximal comfort and appeal. Look good AND feel good.
5. Not Just Pyjamas..
Our Slouchwear® is more than just pyjamas. Of course you can sleep in them (they are super absorbent and breathable so provided you don’t sleep outside, it will be like sleeping on a cloud). What makes Slouchwear® different is that this is what you wear after a shower at the end of a work day when you just want to relax. Or on the weekend at 10am when you are happily relaxing or nursing a hangover or DOMS from the ‘session’ from yesterday.
I could list another 10 points as to why Slouch Potato make the best Pyjamas but you honestly just have to see for yourself what all the hype is about ;) .
Yours in comfort,
Zac ‘Person A’ Perna
